Umm I'm too high to move.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
