do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
