why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
