the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
