i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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