Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
