so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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