I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
