i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
