somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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