She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
