I want to stick my p in your. b.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
