So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
