I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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