Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Text me some of your sweat
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize