Whod you bang
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
