roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
vagina is talking i cant
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
