I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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