you traded sex for a burrito?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
