i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
this will be a night to untag.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
