Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
