I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
