she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
