shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
