that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
