big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
