scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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