M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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