They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize