Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
