Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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