I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
