my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
