Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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