what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
