How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
