1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize