He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
