The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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