Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
