there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
