arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
