I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
