Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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