Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
