Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my sisters under your porch take her home
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
