It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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