I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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