I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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