i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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