I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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