Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
