So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Congratulations! We have a period
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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