You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
