I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
