i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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