You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
