I don't think brook has ever known best
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
