Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
